Pathos princesses

There are these tango women,  the successes. 

They look intelligent and they look like they’ve given up a lot for this bit of glory.  To call one of these gods their own. 

Tango feeds our hunger for recognition and love.  And because it feeds so richly,  it promises a fount of fulfilment and satisfaction.

There she is in her glamorous dress,  with her hot man,  and the people cheering and stomping for more.  But something has gone wrong.  She is sad,  and they are not in love any more.  After the final pose of each dance, they head in different directions.  He does not offer her the water he stashed in easy reach. 

Maybe he cheated on her.  Maybe she wants more respect as an experienced dancer.  Maybe one blames the other for a business or real estate disaster. 

But I’ve seen couples try to work together after separating,  and their days tend to be numbered.  New romances demand their due,  or one partner reaches to reunite dance and love even if the new dance chemistry is not promising.  Or the problems creep into a well-honed dance.  Bitterness manifests as a lack of will to understand.

One or both think they can do better.  Almost always at least one is wrong.  Some find a more compatible partner and begin the process again.  Some enter a mad race to the bottom with inappropriate partners. 

I wonder if a tango man like this might blame his loyal woman for an inevitable decline after a high.  If he gets a more nubile and agile follower,  maybe people will see him again.  A partnership is too demanding and distracting.  He needs to just focus on his creativity…

Because this woman wants a lot.  Fame,  glamour,  ravishment.  Tango should bring it all; she knows it can.  And whatever comes makes her bigger and more ravenous.  In this she resembles an athlete hungering for new challenges to prove herself.

But I don’t think that’s the kind of man she is dancing with.  He is,  usually,  a mute graced with a sole talent.  His ambition is to keep this miracle afloat.

She is willing to work hard,  but she wants to receive.  I worry that these guys just don’t have much to give. 


I want you to know that you are not alone…

… neither in your dreams for tango nor in your frustrations.

My deepest desire is the same as all my students and friends … those who have yet to start dancing and those who dance a lot.

It’s partnership.

One thing I’ve learned on this quest, we need to:

Stop Waiting for Partners, and start Building them.

I’ve written a 10-step Action Plan.

Are you ready to find the Partners you want?



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