Pathos princesses

postitleswirl

There are these tango women,  the successes (“professionals”).

They look intelligent and they look like they’ve given up a lot for this bit of glory.  To call one of these gods their own.

Tango feeds our hunger for recognition and love.  And because it feeds so richly,  it promises a font of fulfillment and satisfaction.

There she is in her glamorous dress,  with her hot man,  and the people cheering and stomping for more.  But something has gone wrong.  She is sad. They are not in love any more.  After the final pose of each dance, they head in different directions.  He does not offer her his water.

Maybe he cheated on her.  Maybe she wants more respect for her dancing.  Maybe one blames the other for a business or real estate disaster.

I’ve seen tango couples try to work together after separating; their days tend to be numbered.  New romances demand their due,  or one partner reaches to reunite dance and love even if the new dance chemistry is not promising.  Or the problems creep into a well-honed dance.  Bitterness manifests as a lack of will to understand.

One or both think they can do better.  Almost always at least one is wrong.  Some find a more compatible partner and begin the process again.  Some enter a mad race to the bottom with inappropriate partners.

Aa tango man might blame his loyal woman for an inevitable decline after a high.  If he gets a more nubile and agile follower,  maybe people will see him again.  A partnership is too demanding and distracting.  He needs to just focus on his creativity…

Because this woman wants a lot.  Fame,  glamour,  ravishment.  Tango should bring it all. She knows it can.  And whatever does come makes her bigger and more ravenous.  In this she resembles an athlete hungering for new challenges to prove herself.

But I don’t think that’s the kind of man she is dancing with.  He is,  usually,  a mute graced with a sole talent.  His ambition is to keep this miracle afloat.

She is willing to work hard,  but she wants to receive.  I worry that these guys just don’t have much to give.

image

Silences in history. Silences by code. Silences of fear. You already know that Tango’s silences can be sublime and they can be devastating.

What I do in my blog is use myself as a lens – sometimes a microscope, sometimes a telescope. I try to be as honest with myself and you as words concede. Then I try to find a deeper meaning and imagine a pathway for us.

A blog post can be a fragment, a wisp of inspiration, an outline for thinking. A book must complete and reconcile it all. Now I drag the social scientist to the scene to enumerate the facts of the case, the mystery which brought both stardom and tragedy to my life.

I invite you to join my resolution to take a look at the dark silences of Argentine Tango in our lives. It’s time.

Travelogue

All Travel Stories

Blog

All the Blog Posts EVER

Posts by Email

Frustrated?

Themes

SEARCH the Blog

The Berlin Interviews

Guides

More Guides...

2020 TangoForge

6-19.February Wellington NZ
7-9 February Bruges Neo Tango

…DISTANCE…

See you at

Reflect and Train

and

Exercises from Maui

Power is the courage, confidence, and competence to make things happen. I want to create in a way that’s incomparable and define my own compensation package. You too?

Syntax of Power is a raw, potent, and spare revelation of how I got to where I am and how I take on the struggle every day.

This book is not about tango, it’s about everything else.

It’s about stepping into the darkness of change, learning how to take care of yourself, and making things happen.

Dyv stands for Duro y Vio. We were inspired by a 2007 conference at Harvard University about tango as a transnational culture. Also we wanted to create something that would help people to imagine a queerer tango. We forbid ourselves to use the word ‘passion’ and instead tried to articulate the experience more precisely.

Argentine Tango is more than an elaborate and difficult dance, it is an international culture of intimacy, desire, and dignity. No mere romance or memoir, the intricately woven stories evoke tango’s true mysteries … the elation, the frustration, the compulsion…

We published the book in 2009. Dancers asked “how did you know what I was feeling?”

Silences in history. Silences by code. Silences of fear. You already know that Tango’s silences can be sublime and they can be devastating.

What I do in my blog is use myself as a lens – sometimes a microscope, sometimes a telescope. I try to be as honest with myself and you as words concede. Then I try to find a deeper meaning and imagine a pathway for us.

A blog post can be a fragment, a wisp of inspiration, an outline for thinking. A book must complete and reconcile it all. Now I drag the social scientist to the scene to enumerate the facts of the case, the mystery which brought both stardom and tragedy to my life.

We didn’t start online education in March of 2020. We started in 2014. Learn more about our Digital School