The Perfect Tanguera


Perfect Tanguera
To create “The Perfect Tanguera” I wrote to my 10 favourite Milongueros of all time to ask for their advice. These aren’t professionals, or my dance partners, or my friends. They are actually the 10 most delicious men I’ve danced with anywhere in the world over the last 10 years. Most of them are guys I was too shy to even have a conversation with.

I asked them for their priorities regarding glamour, etiquette, dancing, and feedback.

If you want the whole guide, “The Perfect Tanguera: Advice from Milongueros”, just  put your email below. I’ll send it to you right away.

Please be advised that this guide is heterocentric. It’s written by Man-Marks regarding Women-Revels.

These Milongueros were happy to be asked for their opinions, and spent time explaining their preferences in detail. I need to remind you that this advice is not from ME, it’s from them. And I need to warn you that you may find some points uncomfortable. But we are very lucky that they were willing to be so honest with us. 

All of them said that dancing skill is much more important than glamour and flirtation.

They were able to be very precise about issues to do with asking for a dance and giving feedback. They emphasized that their favorite dancers know the music, so load up your mobile device with tango music and dance your way to work and errands.

They weren’t very precise about what makes a “great embrace”, “balance,” “expression but with connection,” and “soft, yet strong.” Such frustratingly vague exhortations are what drove me to study tango technique until I could actually specify how to do all of these things. The guys said that women have to be willing to work hard and to practice alone. If you’re ready to take your tango to the next level, you may want to check out the Home Practice Courses.




Do you want to be a better dancer

but don’t feel you are getting what you need from your teachers?

Or do you get contradictory advice from different partners?

I got tired of hearing men tell me to be “natural”, “don’t do anything”, and “you’re floppy”, followed by “you’re stiff” …  So I studied biomechanics until I could teach perfect connection quickly.

We now have video solo practice courses that you can do at home to improve your knowledge, confidence, balance, and grace.

Order from our Digital School. Or enter your email below to preview the course:


Power is the courage, confidence, and competence to make things happen. I want to create in a way that’s incomparable and define my own compensation package. You too?

Syntax of Power is a raw, potent, and spare revelation of how I got to where I am and how I take on the struggle every day.

This book is not about tango, it’s about everything else.

It’s about stepping into the darkness of change, learning how to take care of yourself, and making things happen.

Dyv stands for Duro y Vio. We were inspired by a 2007 conference at Harvard University about tango as a transnational culture. Also we wanted to create something that would help people to imagine a queerer tango. We forbid ourselves to use the word ‘passion’ and instead tried to articulate the experience more precisely.

Argentine Tango is more than an elaborate and difficult dance, it is an international culture of intimacy, desire, and dignity. No mere romance or memoir, the intricately woven stories evoke tango’s true mysteries … the elation, the frustration, the compulsion…

We published the book in 2009. Dancers asked “how did you know what I was feeling?”

Silences in history. Silences by code. Silences of fear. You already know that Tango’s silences can be sublime and they can be devastating.

What I do in my blog is use myself as a lens – sometimes a microscope, sometimes a telescope. I try to be as honest with myself and you as words concede. Then I try to find a deeper meaning and imagine a pathway for us.

A blog post can be a fragment, a wisp of inspiration, an outline for thinking. A book must complete and reconcile it all. Now I drag the social scientist to the scene to enumerate the facts of the case, the mystery which brought both stardom and tragedy to my life.

We didn’t start online education in March of 2020. We started in 2014. Learn more about our Digital School