Until Forever: The Dark Silences of Argentine Tango
She feels very proud of her obedience. She offers it, she codifies it in her gestures, she exults in it. She may have come in order to “meet someone” or “express herself”, but now she just wants to be pretty and do it right. It gives her the surge of relief that, truly and finally, she is a good girl.
I decide to ask him, straight up, if I am on his list of “good dancers”. Daring, this one or anyway first time, just rips open a box of pain. All the times I didn’t know. All the quiet self-assaults in this forest of doubt.
No one wants to admit the desperation that is electroplated to the pride and glamour of this life. I try to tell myself that what I make is art, or pedagogy. But I fear that what we make at tango, is lies.
In 1867, ballet was performed in Buenos Aires at the Teatro Colón, which wasted no time in establishing its own ballet company by 1880. Tango was born with pointed toes.
This infrastructure is, from the point of view of Argentine tango teachers and musicians “a marketplace” offering the opportunity to earn sufficient foreign exchange in a few months of travelling work to sustain a reasonable life in Buenos Aires for the rest of the year.
Silences in history. Silences by code. Silences of fear. You already know that Tango’s silences can be sublime and they can be devastating.
What I do in my blog is use myself as a lens – sometimes a microscope, sometimes a telescope. I try to be as honest with myself and you as words concede. Then I try to find a deeper meaning and imagine a pathway for us.
A blog post can be a fragment, a wisp of inspiration, an outline for thinking. A book must complete and reconcile it all. Now I drag the social scientist to the scene to enumerate the facts of the case, the mystery which brought both stardom and tragedy to my life.
I invite you to join my resolution to take a look at the dark silences of Argentine Tango in our lives.
And I ask you to support my work as a writer. I spent three months writing this book for us.
- a pdf preview of the book
- a workbook to help us be systematic in looking at tango’s reality in our lives
I’ll send updates about the progress with publishers. When the printed book is ready, you will be the first to receive a copy.
Table of Contents
images by Romain Baillon, Evelyn-Bencicova, unknown.