Tango Sisters

The good nights in tango are among the best nights of your life: elating, ecstatic, gorgeous. The bad nights are among the worst: degrading, dejecting, absurd. You wonder why you continue, and yet to stop would mean giving up the hope to experience that richness again. The pain and discomfort of tango frustration can be huge, because tango’s promise is.

So you continue, a bit wiser. You develop some tricks to care for your spirit.

You realize that it’s not the men you have fallen in love with, but the dance. Annoyingly, you need them. But more and more you realize that they rarely match or appreciate or even see the depth of what you bring.

Sister, Tango is already yours.

It’s time to seize your power.

Tango was the first experience in my life that I felt truly beautiful and that I enjoyed receiving the desire of men, abundantly. I was so high i couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I dressed like a doll and I danced every tanda. I started to Mark in a moment of outrage over a sexist incident, and I was pathetic at it for the first couple of years. When I found myself teaching I had to get serious about Marking and then discovered I understood it better than many men around. I became fascinated with the structure of tango, at first with the technique, and later with improvisation. As I advanced, I became more sensitive and discerning. Now there are very few men who manage not to discomfort me, and far fewer still who even bother to work with the skill I bring. I will put on my stilettos if there is someone in the room worth dancing with. The rest of the time I mark. Sometimes I don’t even carry extra shoes, I dance in what I’m wearing.

Sister: It is so powerful to walk into a milonga knowing the night is yours, that you are not dependent on being chosen, that you are not dependent on the men’s skills. That your love for tango is not defined or limited or waiting to be expressed through some random collection of careless men.

Please know that you can bestow your skills on beginner men and know that their growth is thanks to you. You can draw dance partners with the power of your desire. And because you have more to express, and are not afraid to let your feelings out, you will be a very good Mark.  (Get over the idea already that it’s “so hard”. Learning the second role is easier for every dancer. It will be much easier for you than it was for all those struggling men you were so patient with.)  If there is a man worthy of you, you may have time to dance with him.

You are not waiting for some man, tango is waiting for you.

Are you ready to overcome tango frustration and find your power? 

Step one: Taking power as a Revel: Read “The Power of Desire“) 

Step two: Make the milonga your own. Start to Mark so that you decide if there’s any man in the room more interesting than your own dance. You can understand tango. Take responsibility for your experience with our MasterCourse.

Step three: Stop waiting for partners and start building them (see the box below). 

I want you to know that you are not alone…

… neither in your dreams for tango nor in your frustrations.

My deepest desire is the same as all my students and friends … those who have yet to start dancing and those who dance a lot.

It’s partnership.

One thing I’ve learned on this quest, we need to:

Stop Waiting for Partners, and start Building them.

I’ve written a 10-step Action Plan.

Are you ready to find the Partners you want?




Posts by Email


All the Blog Posts Ever LIST

Blog VISUAL browser

The Berlin Interviews


More Guides...

2019 TangoForge

February 7-19Wellington NZ

February 7-9 Bruges NeoTango Marathon

May 8-10 NeoTango Marathon Amsterdam Seminar

July 3-5 Bremen Neo Tango Rave Seminar

July 17-26 Phantastango

August South Sweden.

September 11-14 Athens Neo Tango Marathon

October Berlin