Gender Liberation

postitleswirl

I have to believe that my 11 years of tango are not in service only to sexist retrenchment but to something liberating.

I think tango has shown me that there is indeed creative mystery to be revealed in our depths and that patient witness is what enables it to manifest.

tango roles

My belief is controversial that the font of creativity is masculine and the witness is feminine. No one seems to be calmed by my claim that I (and everyone else) can alternately incarnate each power.

I have learned to be persistent in my visions.

Indeed as a visual artist, I had to be my own witness, laying the pens by the bed, insistently waking myself to draw. As the tango artist, my companion holds the world steady as I dive into the fire.

The Revel’s gift is her taut musculature and her capacity to witness contradiction, her comfort with the unknown.

Her readiness and companionship makes it possible for her Mark to reach for his unknown, to let forth profound, perhaps divine, creativity that he does not understand or control, and has not yet seen.

This is a sacred encounter.

There are two significances of this theory. One is about what we are doing in tango, and how we will do it, and whether the addicted women’s demands will destroy all that is sacred. Another is about the troubled post-feminist moment in which we are trying to figure out what to be.

So many men have told me that they don’t dare to show desire or generosity to a woman. So many women wait for a man’s love. In couples I watch women’s need to be smart and respected run roughshod over their man’s desire to gently and competently provide.

In private lessons, I teach men the difference between strength and aggression. I teach women to find a way that is neither a fantasy fairy of lightness nor an  egalitarian demand. I call her The Angel. She brings mortals’ dreams to life. Angels don’t flit around, they work. They are confident in their power, and trusted. They are magnetic and winged at once.

My masculine creative is well developed. He has been busy with careers and books, seeding projects around the world, and loving countless grandchildren. My feminine has been underdeveloped in my life and I meet her for the first time on the dance floor. Her power to set men free interests me.

And I want to learn how to do it without dancing with people.

I want you to know that you are not alone…

embrace orig crop

… neither in your dreams for tango nor in your frustrations.

My deepest desire is the same as all my students and friends … those who have yet to start dancing and those who dance a lot.

It’s partnership.

One thing I’ve learned on this quest, we need to:

Stop Waiting for Partners, and start Building them.

I’ve written a 10-step Action Plan.

Are you ready to find the Partners you want?

 

Apertures

Newest

All the Blog Posts EVER

Posts by Email

Frustrated?

Themes

SEARCH the Blog

The Berlin Interviews

Guides

More Guides...

2020 TangoForge

6-19.February Wellington NZ
7-9 February Bruges Neo Tango

…DISTANCE…

See you at

Reflect and Train

and

Exercises from Maui

Apertures

Newest

All the Blog Posts EVER

Posts by Email

Frustrated?

Themes

SEARCH the Blog

The Berlin Interviews

Guides

More Guides...

Apertures

Newest

All the Blog Posts EVER

Posts by Email

Frustrated?

Themes

SEARCH the Blog

The Berlin Interviews

Guides

More Guides...

Apertures

Newest

All the Blog Posts EVER

Posts by Email

Frustrated?

Themes

SEARCH the Blog

The Berlin Interviews

Guides

More Guides...

Apertures

Newest

All the Blog Posts EVER

Posts by Email

Frustrated?

Themes

SEARCH the Blog

The Berlin Interviews

Guides

More Guides...

Themes

Important Insights

Books

Power is the courage, confidence, and competence to make things happen. I want to create in a way that’s incomparable and define my own compensation package. You too?

Syntax of Power is a raw, potent, and spare revelation of how I got to where I am and how I take on the struggle every day.

This book is not about tango, it’s about everything else.

It’s about stepping into the darkness of change, learning how to take care of yourself, and making things happen.

Dyv stands for Duro y Vio. We were inspired by a 2007 conference at Harvard University about tango as a transnational culture. Also we wanted to create something that would help people to imagine a queerer tango. We forbid ourselves to use the word ‘passion’ and instead tried to articulate the experience more precisely.

Argentine Tango is more than an elaborate and difficult dance, it is an international culture of intimacy, desire, and dignity. No mere romance or memoir, the intricately woven stories evoke tango’s true mysteries … the elation, the frustration, the compulsion…

We published the book in 2009. Dancers asked “how did you know what I was feeling?”

Silences in history. Silences by code. Silences of fear. You already know that Tango’s silences can be sublime and they can be devastating.

What I do in my blog is use myself as a lens – sometimes a microscope, sometimes a telescope. I try to be as honest with myself and you as words concede. Then I try to find a deeper meaning and imagine a pathway for us.

A blog post can be a fragment, a wisp of inspiration, an outline for thinking. A book must complete and reconcile it all. Now I drag the social scientist to the scene to enumerate the facts of the case, the mystery which brought both stardom and tragedy to my life.

We didn’t start online education in March of 2020. We started in 2014. Learn more about our Digital School