How tango enhances masculinity

Tango has allowed me to be very close to hundreds of men. To feel their mojo working, or not. It’s much more pleasurable to dance with a man whose mojo is working, so I’ve tried to figure out what it is that works, so I can teach my students. Here’s the shortest possible version: Tenderness + Decisiveness. In a man’s embrace, I can feel everything. Much more than he thinks I can feel. Hesitation, distraction, showing off…I can feel the move he was thinking about, but didn’t do. This is not such a great surprise, really. The brain is tightly linked to all the muscles so every thought is transmitted. An attentive and perceptive woman will pick it all up. I’m sure that sounds terrifying. (And intimate… more on that later.) Now you need to learn a little something about Buenos Aires and masculinity. The whole game in this city is learning to control your image, how people perceive you. Argentine Tango is a discipline of total control of your body to communicate the desired effect. Argentine Tango is a formula for seduction. You don’t have to follow through, but when you walk away, that woman will want you. And it’s up to you when you go back, and for what. Argentine Tango teaches you how to move with strength and decisiveness, so that you will feel masculine as never before. And it teaches you how to hold a woman more tenderly than she has ever been touched before. To give her the attention she has wanted from every man she has dated and rarely, if ever, received. And you can have this effect on women without speaking one word to them, only by catching their eye from across the room. If they smile or nod at you, you get them for 12 minutes of silence. And then you can walk away and enjoy what you have accomplished. No questions, no small talk, no awkwardness. Making your dance effective requires discipline and practice. But it doesn’t require that you already be in good shape, that you already feel like a very masculine man, that you already have confidence with women. It doesn’t require you to be handsome. See my post about tango and good looks. Once you have acquired total control over your masculinity in tango, you will be able to enjoy a range of intimacy with women. The dance itself can satisfy some of your desire, especially since you get to have an intense sensual experience with as many as 20 women in one night. It’s likely you will find some dance partners with whom it’s special and playful, others whose aloofness eludes and allures you, and others with whom you find a more sexual expression that may seek fulfillment after the dancing is done. If you have a wife or girlfriend, tango is a relatively safe way for one or both of you to get a little more attention, to satisfy those urges without violating your faithfulness. And it’s a new language to share. If you’ve learned tango together, you’ll find that in the midst of a fight, you can switch into a physical connection, just doing one step that brings your hearts back together.

As a Tanguero, you will have confident and nice relationships of different kinds with lots of women.

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To accelerate the process for you
I asked all my girlfriends for advice
and wrote this guide…

How to Become a Hot TangoMan:
Secrets from the Tangueras
who Hope to Dance with You

I’ll send their advice to you right away by email:



Getting Started

Are you ready to start dancing Argentine Tango?

Of course there are courses in almost every town where you can meet other beginners. In case you are a bit shy and you’d like to start training and learning first at home, we have a beginner’s package. It includes 10 practice sessions, a book to get you excited (print or e-book), and a home page here at TangoForge with all of our resources for new dancers as well as a forum to ask questions. The practice courses are also useful in case you get very busy or need to travel for work and can’t make it to class. They’ll give you a way to continue improving steadily with or without group class.


Begin Tango Package


Power is the courage, confidence, and competence to make things happen. I want to create in a way that’s incomparable and define my own compensation package. You too?

Syntax of Power is a raw, potent, and spare revelation of how I got to where I am and how I take on the struggle every day.

This book is not about tango, it’s about everything else.

It’s about stepping into the darkness of change, learning how to take care of yourself, and making things happen.

Dyv stands for Duro y Vio. We were inspired by a 2007 conference at Harvard University about tango as a transnational culture. Also we wanted to create something that would help people to imagine a queerer tango. We forbid ourselves to use the word ‘passion’ and instead tried to articulate the experience more precisely.

Argentine Tango is more than an elaborate and difficult dance, it is an international culture of intimacy, desire, and dignity. No mere romance or memoir, the intricately woven stories evoke tango’s true mysteries … the elation, the frustration, the compulsion…

We published the book in 2009. Dancers asked “how did you know what I was feeling?”

Silences in history. Silences by code. Silences of fear. You already know that Tango’s silences can be sublime and they can be devastating.

What I do in my blog is use myself as a lens – sometimes a microscope, sometimes a telescope. I try to be as honest with myself and you as words concede. Then I try to find a deeper meaning and imagine a pathway for us.

A blog post can be a fragment, a wisp of inspiration, an outline for thinking. A book must complete and reconcile it all. Now I drag the social scientist to the scene to enumerate the facts of the case, the mystery which brought both stardom and tragedy to my life.

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