No means no
Like women who would like to be able to say “no” or “not now” with just a gesture –twisting the torso away– and have that well-perceived by amorous dates, Marks would like to be able to say “no” with their eyes and body language, and not have to deal with a verbal or otherwise unavoidable request.
The Merry-go-round
I watch the milonga. What are we waiting for? An angel to fall from the ceiling into my lap. Because none of these mortals here please me, nor I them. Some ancient thing, some vestige, someone else’s dream – anything that will embrace me, lift me from this chair, and make the merry-go-round spin once […]
The strength of a Tanguera
This is a cycle we are all accustomed to. We tango dancers pride ourselves on managing our jealousy with strength, with retribution, with ritual games, with “codes” of etiquette.
We believe this strength and savvy calculus buys us something valuable and precious.
Be an angel, not a fairy
Most women are paranoid of being “heavy” as dancers. They try to be “light”. The result is actually that they disconnect, they break the arch of connection. To stay in the experience of sublime connection we have to adjust everything all the time. When the mark produces more force to create a certain movement or […]
The Blog comes to life: Roles
The Revel’s gift is her taut musculature and her capacity to witness contradiction, her comfort with the unknown.
Gender Liberation
I have to believe that my 11 years of tango are not in service only to sexist retrenchment but to something liberating. I think tango has shown me that there is indeed creative mystery to be revealed in our depths and that patient witness is what enables it to manifest. My belief is controversial that […]
Black Magic White Tango
I believe that there is a black tango and a white tango, like black magic and white magic. If we recognize that tango is a powerful thing, then we realize we can use it for selfish purposes or generous ones. We can realize people who are using it in different ways. Tango is not this or that. Tango is power, and a practice for relating to other people. You wield it.
Fairy dust
Femininity is always a fantasy. There is no lasting escape from our strength and men’s frailty. (There are other ways to understand it, but these moments are also rare.) The respite and pleasure you receive from tango is a precious gift, a facet, a moment of “altered perception”, and an addictive drug. Like every drug, like every addiction, it is not reality, it is damaging, and you will come down. To get real with this retrograde gender activity you’ve got yourself hooked in to, you need to decide that you are not going to suffer. And there are other ways than leaving the milonga when there are too many women.To stop suffering the absence of fantasy-ecstasy-femininity requires that you accept all of who you are.
Better than Sex
When Argentine Tango is good –when the partners are able to maintain a sublime level of connection, moving as one– it is absolutely rapturous. It feels like [Hollywood] Movie Sex looks: smooth, passionate, consuming. This experience is so intense that it can trigger romantic emotions, the sensation of being in love – even though […]
How to be a Good Man, as you become an Advanced Tanguero
Congratulations! After years of hard work, you are now mastering this dance! You can make girls feel really good and happy. Girls are starting to look for you, snuggle you, hang around you. This feels great! You’re a nice guy; you are not planning to use your newfound advantage to become a womanizer, but you […]
No Hungry Women
I can feel the hunger of the women. I know that hunger for tango ecstasy. I know it as an addiction, as a wound, as a sweet balm. I know that dancing with them won’t be enough. I can give them my best and they will still be hungry. If I have any responsibility for the event, this sensation drains me to the point that I desperately want to lay down on the floor and go to sleep.
Martin y Maurizio: elevating revelations…
While most couples are stuck with a single gender performance, a gay role-changing couple can explore gender performance and its relationship to their dance with far more subtlety and interest. And it’s not so crude as drag. Martin and Maurizio always dress as two elegant men and they wear men’s shoes. It’s in the physical expression, how they move, how they touch, how they look at each other, how they define and play with power.
The gender journey
I want to try to find a story of tango as a liberatory gender journey. For men, from fear of their own strength to sexual prowess to the decision to choose. For women, from inadequate object, to perfect femininity, and out the other side, beyond seduction and competition to a deeper power.
Pathos princesses
There are these tango women, the successes (“professionals”). They look intelligent and they look like they’ve given up a lot for this bit of glory. To call one of these gods their own. Tango feeds our hunger for recognition and love. And because it feeds so richly, it promises a font of fulfillment and satisfaction. […]
I am not a teddy bear: a gender breakdown
So first of all my motivations and possible rewards as a mark are different than a man’s. I am not interested in romance, or confirmations of my virility. I am not interested in her tits or smile. I do not feel her beauty as an acquisition. The physical sensation will never be the same because […]
Queer desires
I had some idea about what I would learn on this trip. Predictably it is different. I am learning something about the construction of desire. The first thing I noticed is that I am not attracted to revels wearing high heels. Next I noticed that I prefer a girl wearing pants… There are a covey […]
Tango Vicioso at Insomnia
Tangotourist in Berlin, Summer 2014 Some of my friends said I must see tango at Insomnia and others spent 30 minutes trying to dissuade me. “It’s a sex club!”, they kept repeating. So? here’s my report: A spacious room with bar and large couches, dark, fabulous mix of music. About 20 dancers + 5 observers […]
Renaming the Roles
A term sometimes used for the lead in BsAs is ‘marcar’, to mark. He is an artist, drawing in the dark. The role of the Revel is to bring his mark to life, to witness and celebrate his creativity, to give it back to him, a little more beautiful than he imagined.
So about Gender and Tango…
Gender play Tango is a a space where most dancers do gender more extremely than in the rest of life. This can be fun, it can be healing, and it can be distorting. There are several dimensions to gender extremity in tango. The first has to do with costume, and is pleasurable for those who […]
The reverse cabeceo
It’s when a follower does the man’s cabeceo to a leader. She walks directly up to him, establishes eye contact, and gives him a nod. Um…There’s more to the cabeceo than the repudiation of sound. Perhaps more fundamentally, it’s a repudiation of demand, from either party.
Expressing masculinity in tango
Tango is a chance to embody masculinity in a satisfying way, and in a way that fulfils women’s desire for certain romantic gender relations. We don’t want you to boss us around, but we do want to be admired and desired, to feel your masculine attention.
If you’re so openminded about tango, why do you use the cabeceo?
It’s painful to sit as a revel waiting to be asked for a dance. Marks feel a lot of stress in having to make the approach. And many people feel that the codigos and the cabeceo reinforce old fashioned gender roles about male privilege and female passivity. I’ve felt the anxiety that accompanies both roles, […]
Inhabiting the tango roles
If the leader doesn’t risk openness and vulnerability, if the leader falls back or contracts power, the follower has to extend too far across the emotional and physical gap. It’s very difficult for leaders to send their hearts forward, and much easier to pull the follower to them. This stance countermands a comfortable retreat to the intellectual side and requires a dramatic embodiment of an extreme and seemingly archaic gender role — the protector.
Why we need Feminist Tango
A feminist tango is not anti-man in any way, but it is pro-woman. It means we give each other the same gracious generosity that we habitually and unhesitatingly offer to strange men. It means we give each other more, and what that more can be is open to the imagination of every woman who has suffered the unique and poignant pains of tango.
What is Rainbow Queer Argentine Tango?
Queer Tango is a global movement to create inclusive and diverse space for Argentine Tango dancers. This means celebrating gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender dancers. It also means celebrating any dancers who want to experiment with different approaches to gender and roles while dancing Argentine Tango, such as women who want to lead, men who […]
Slideshow from 2009 Celebration of Women Leaders
On 19 April 2009, Duro y Vio organized two beautiful events at Spontaneous Celebrations to mark their departure from Boston. One was Boston’s first Queer Tango Milonga. The other was a Celebration of Women Leaders. Here’s the gorgeous slideshow from that event. Celebration of Women Leaders from vio saraza on Vimeo. Please do not repost […]
Gender, desire, and drag
This research note examines the unique possibilities that tango may create as it becomes queered, and identifies ways in which the extreme gender environment of traditional tango is already queer. I distinguish three layers of gender experience in tango: drag, object desire, and inhabitation of essence.
Tango: Reflections from one year in (before facebook)
If you are ok with meaningless, detached eroticism, desensitized from the emotions that normally accompany it, and seeking to avoid misunderstandings, entanglements, fluids, or diseases, tango is a way to get off several times a night for the rest of your life. And it’s an age-inclusive social space, where women become more sexy as they tuck decades of dancing into their girdles.
