The point source of connection

It feels so good to press our hearts together. Do you sometimes wonder why you ever do anything else? This simple and accessible act is profoundly moving, as it crosses age and cultural barriers to affirm our humanity and compassion.

Fortunately, we don’t have to be touching chests to experience this sensation of connection. In open embrace and even in soltada, you can feel your partner’s heart stretching toward you, sustaining an arch of connection through your bodies and across space.

We touch at the closest points. Sometimes this is our chests, sometimes it’s our hands.

You know to show off your sexy confidence by grounding yourself in strong legs with deep roots through the floorboards (aligned with ), showing your creative, energetic desire by stretching toward your partner, not gripping or pulling them toward you (elbow and shoulder joints always extending infinitesimally), and opening your heart to divine inspiration and emotional elation (externally rotating your shoulder joints).

The fulcrum at which the support of the base counterbalances the outstretched heart is the hips. Hip flexion is the point source of perfect connection. It is the place where the desire to leave your body and merge with your delicious dance partner is tempered with the knowledge that we have to take care of ourselves as part of being with another.

If the hips extend forward, the fulcrum is abandoned and the sweet taut attention of heart and hands is compromised. Our next step will not be in sync, and our hearts break a little every time that happens

You know that a lifetime of physical, emotional, and psychological development has prepared you for this meeting. And you know it will only go well if you give with your whole heart. And yet for one reason or another, we often recoil, we often shrink from the possibilities we have created for ourselves. We do this by dropping our hearts behind our hips, hiding them behind internally rotated shoulders, or under internally rotated elbows, gripping the partner with desperate fingers, tugging on them with flexing elbow or shoulder joints, and blocking the flow of tango love with either severe extension or severe flexion of the wrist joint.

Matthew Cohen, yoga teacher: “Your legs are these powerful machines for carrying your heart around the world.” Trust your legs to do their work, keep your body in an alignment that allows them to do it, and know you are always safest when you open your heart, undefended. Get your shoulders out of the way of your tango and don’t let old tensions spoil this new moment.


I want you to know that you are not alone…

… neither in your dreams for tango nor in your frustrations.

My deepest desire is the same as all my students and friends … those who have yet to start dancing and those who dance a lot.

It’s partnership.

One thing I’ve learned on this quest, we need to:

Stop Waiting for Partners, and start Building them.

I’ve written a 10-step Action Plan.

Are you ready to find the Partners you want?



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