Cruise Collection

postitleswirl
A distantly familiar phrase that I had never thought about…. Until I go on a date on a cruise ship…
Cruise attire is formal, yet breezy. It oozes rich and relaxed, but pretty.
I think it ought to have flowers or pastel.
It must afford both an air of summer and protection for the shoulders agaist the wind on deck.
Cruises are for couples. Cruisewear is not sexy.
My charge is complicated by the fact that we weren’t paying passengers. My date is an officer.
“Dress like you are going to a nice restaurant”, he instructed. And “don’t wear anything freaky.” Eliminating 75% of my wardrobe.
Of course there was plenty more he didn’t say…  I had to pass as a passenger but I would also be in the crew areas. So I didn’t want to come across as one of the elite. No real jewels.
But I’m the date of an officer which meant that I wouldn’t wear anything obviously fake either.
I should not be too visible. Definitely not a diva. Not too glamorous or sparkly.
And, as I would be with an officer but not charged with providing service I also needed to not look like crew. This eliminated the professional clothing I keep for the occasional university lecture.
Not sexy, not freaky, not diva, not professional, nor rich, not poor…
Basically it needed to be Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Chaste and Impeccable with sufficiently overt signal of an absence of wealth.
Knee length skirts in good fabrics but nothing too fragile for navigating garbage bins down the narrow crew hallways.
Pretty tops, with chaste shoulder wraps. Velvet tank tops and v-necks  hit the right note. Jeweley: antique or artistic. Chandelier crystals, brass keys, antique buttons…
The saving grace was that I could wear high heels all the time to make everything more elegant, without working about cobblestones or long walks.

I want you to know that you are not alone…

embrace orig crop

… neither in your dreams for tango nor in your frustrations.

My deepest desire is the same as all my students and friends … those who have yet to start dancing and those who dance a lot.

It’s partnership.

One thing I’ve learned on this quest, we need to:

Stop Waiting for Partners, and start Building them.

I’ve written a 10-step Action Plan.

Are you ready to find the Partners you want?

 

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2020 TangoForge

6-19.February Wellington NZ
7-9 February Bruges Neo Tango

…DISTANCE…

See you at

Reflect and Train

and

Exercises from Maui

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Important Insights

Books

Power is the courage, confidence, and competence to make things happen. I want to create in a way that’s incomparable and define my own compensation package. You too?

Syntax of Power is a raw, potent, and spare revelation of how I got to where I am and how I take on the struggle every day.

This book is not about tango, it’s about everything else.

It’s about stepping into the darkness of change, learning how to take care of yourself, and making things happen.

Dyv stands for Duro y Vio. We were inspired by a 2007 conference at Harvard University about tango as a transnational culture. Also we wanted to create something that would help people to imagine a queerer tango. We forbid ourselves to use the word ‘passion’ and instead tried to articulate the experience more precisely.

Argentine Tango is more than an elaborate and difficult dance, it is an international culture of intimacy, desire, and dignity. No mere romance or memoir, the intricately woven stories evoke tango’s true mysteries … the elation, the frustration, the compulsion…

We published the book in 2009. Dancers asked “how did you know what I was feeling?”

Silences in history. Silences by code. Silences of fear. You already know that Tango’s silences can be sublime and they can be devastating.

What I do in my blog is use myself as a lens – sometimes a microscope, sometimes a telescope. I try to be as honest with myself and you as words concede. Then I try to find a deeper meaning and imagine a pathway for us.

A blog post can be a fragment, a wisp of inspiration, an outline for thinking. A book must complete and reconcile it all. Now I drag the social scientist to the scene to enumerate the facts of the case, the mystery which brought both stardom and tragedy to my life.

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