Etiquette Guide to the Codigos and Beyond
The codigos guide social interaction when tango is being danced. They respect the sanctity of the dance and take care of dancers’ feelings and egos.
In Defense of Etiquette III: The Mirada
We might use the phrase ‘pre-cabeceo’ for the actions that lead up to and prepare for the cabeceo. Crafting your desire ought to be part
In Defense of etiquette 2023: Part I: Codigos
Many people these days reject the tango etiquette as old fashioned, “macho”, or irrelevant. They don’t consider that the tango etiquette protects us. Even (or especially) when we are friends or frequent dance partners.
In defense of etiquette: Part II: Cabeceo
The woman told me “well maybe in Germany the men can’t say no, but here we say that men can say no”. I said “I’ve lived all over the world, and nowhere are men comfortable to be rude or humiliate a woman.” Her overt demand is coercive regardless of her fantasies about his “freedom” to say “no”.
No means no
Like women who would like to be able to say “no” or “not now” with just a gesture –twisting the torso away– and have that well-perceived by amorous dates, Marks would like to be able to say “no” with their eyes and body language, and not have to deal with a verbal or otherwise unavoidable request.
Pleasures of the Cabeceo
The cabeceo is promoted as a way to avoid embarrassment and non-consenual dances. But it’s not only a prophylactic, it also has pleasures of its own.
Hugs and Laughter
This is a complicated point. Please read it very very carefully. I am interested in how we manage people and our own emotions. I call
How to be a Good Man, as you become an Advanced Tanguero
Congratulations! After years of hard work, you are now mastering this dance! You can make girls feel really good and happy. Girls are starting to
How to become a Hot TangoMan
This guide reveals women’s preferences and if you follow it, you’ll be on your way to charming and delighting them as a confident and hot
The codigos (advanced)
The codigos exist to protect egos and relationships. They are really very handy, and I recommend you follow them. The codigos are like your best friend, who takes care of you when you are drunk.
Why I don’t ask Marks to dance…
The line of dance is not the only thing that circles. So do the arguments about tango. It feels more productive to use the term
The deeper cabeceo
Globally, the best coffee is served in places with inadequate and injurious seating… Black Star and Blue Bottle in Sydney and San Francisco. Here in
Emotions on the dance floor
Muscle control is just the entry ticket to the party. We still have choices to make about how to interact, what parts of ourselves to share, and how deeply we seek to connect.
The reverse cabeceo
It’s when a follower does the man’s cabeceo to a leader. She walks directly up to him, establishes eye contact, and gives him a nod. Um…There’s more to the cabeceo than the repudiation of sound. Perhaps more fundamentally, it’s a repudiation of demand, from either party.
Rethinking cortinas
So the function of cortinas is to determine if we’ll be having sex or not. Cortinas mean that we are engaged in a negotiation. No cortinas, no sex. This is a very good example of why we need to investigate the “authentic traditions” of tango and see if they serve us or not.
The power of desire
One of the most painful parts of tango for aRrevel is waiting, or sitting. It makes us feel passive and powerless when we wait for someone –anyone– to ask us for a dance. This is a mistaken perception of the situation and revels can develop a deeper understanding of what is going on.
If you’re so openminded about tango, why do you use the cabeceo?
It’s painful to sit as a revel waiting to be asked for a dance. Marks feel a lot of stress in having to make the
How do I ask someone to dance? (the cabeceo)
The Argentine style of asking for a dance is that the leaders ask. They ask in a particular way, often from across the room, by seeking eye contact with followers. If eye contact is held, the leader nods toward the dance floor (or raises one or both eyebrows). This is the cabeceo.
How long do you dance with one person? (the tanda)
We dance three or four songs with one person – this is called a “tanda”, sometimes separated with 15-30 seconds of contrasting music, called a cortina (curtain). If there is no cortina, you can just count four songs.
It’s rude to leave your partner before the end of the tanda.
How do dancers manage the intimacy of tango? (the codigos)
The codigos of tango are a set of “codes” that make some structure around the intimacy of tango.
