- When something is not working, it is VERY hard to tell what’s wrong and who is at fault, tempting though that is. When two people are attached to each other and moving the dynamics are very complicated.
- Share the responsibility. Don’t blame each other.
- We do not recommend trying to analyze it and talk about it. This easily leads to blaming the other person, etc.
- Each of you should worry about what you are doing and do your best to use correct technique. Don’t let yourself obsess on what the other person is doing.
- Any questions or difficulties that come up should be written down and brought to your teacher. Let your teacher figure out the problems (and assign blame).
- For the leader: if what you want isn’t happening, don’t say anything to your follower, just try to make it more clear, try to make it unavoidable. You will hear “it’s always the leader’s fault”. Even though it’s not true, this phrase is a good idea, because if the leader tries to solve the problem, it makes them a better leader…
- For the follower: You can always do better with your base and projection, making everything easier, smoother, and more pleasurable for your leader.
10 February 2008